ULI Washington’s Women’s Leadership Initiative kicked off its Courageous Conversations Series with The Only One in the Room, an honest, raw, no holds barred discussion about how women and minorities can break down the barriers and break through to make the real estate development and financing industry more diverse and inclusive.  Industry giants Diana Reid and Bryon Boston spoke candidly about their experiences and how they were able to not only advance but bring about change within their own organizations to make them more equitable.

Here are a few of the lessons they imparted:

If you are good at what you do, you have a voice and you must use it.  Diana talked about the power she had because she was a good bond trader.  People paid attention to her.  When the saw was inappropriate behavior, she used her voice, often with humor to call it out, and stop it

Be Intentional about creating equity and opportunity.   Diana and Byron both spoke about Larry Fink at First Boston and now CEO at Black Rock who “lived the power of diversity.”  He made sure that he was hiring people of all backgrounds, trusted them to do the job and set the standards.

Understand your position and be cognizant of the people above. Think before you speak. Don’t get emotional and use short sentences to make your points.

Build a big network both internally and externally.  It’s all about the network.  Give and receive feedback. Know how to take help from the network and give it as well. That’s how you build allies and build relationships that give you insight and influence. To be an ally means you have to be an ally.  You have to know that someone has your back and that you have theirs.  There must be trust.

Think about the ways large and small you can have influence.  Yes, by getting into leadership, getting on boards.  But think about smaller ways you can exert influence through what companies you buy from. We have influence with our purchasing power.

To an anti-racist company means you can’t tolerate jerks. You have to have a no tolerance policy for people don’t respect others.  Bryon noted how shocking it is that companies allow others who are disrespectful and rude to thrive. You have to be comfortable making others uncomfortable, calling out bad behavior and injustice. Don’t allow yourself to be run over by a jerk.

Focus on what you can control. You will make mistakes but learn from them.

Set people up for success.  “Bring a folding chair for someone else” to get a seat at the table. Get to know your colleagues and at what point they will they be comfortable raising their voice. Setting people up for success has to be intentional. Give people the opportunity to be successful and not just defend themselves. Equity is about fairness and opportunity.